ANGIE LIBUR

 

Angie libur sekolah. Kali ini berbeda dengan libur yang dia dapatkan bulan Mei kemarin lantaran kakak kelasnya ujian. Dia libur setelah menerima raport kenaikan kelas. Apa yang membuatnya berbeda?
Pertama, kali ini tentu saja liburnya lebih panjang ketimbang bulan Mei kemarin. 

Kedua, mengingat Angie baru saja naik kelas dan masuk jurusan yang dia harapkan, entah mengapa aku menjadi merasa ingin melakukan sesuatu untuk membuatnya senang. Yah, misalnya berlibur kemana kek. Atau kalau tidak mengajaknya berlibur, mengajaknya melakukan sesuatu yang akan membuatnya senang. Well, seperti kebanyakan orang tua lain, aku pun selalu ingin membuat anak semata wayangku itu senang. Apalagi aku pun minggu ini libur dari tempat kerjaku. 

So, tunggu apa lagi? Pergi aja berlibur toh? Misal, ke Yogya, kota kedua yang kucintai di Indonesia ini. Apalagi menurut kabar yang kubaca di koran, Yogya telah memiliki tempat wisata baru, entah apa namanya aku lupa. Pengunjung bisa merasakan bagaimana rasanya berada di suatu tempat yang bersalju. Nah, salju di Yogya? Jelas tidak mungkin bukan?

Bagi orang yang punya duit berlebih masalah berlibur ke luar kota tentulah tidak akan membuat orang itu repot mikir, sampai perlu pusing tujuh keliling. Lah aku???

Aku harus menelan ludahku sendiri. LOL. 

Dan memang rencana ini hanya berhenti di pikiranku. Belum pernah aku lontarkan ke Angie. Yah, karena aku ga yakin apakah aku bisa mengajaknya berlibur ke Yogya di musim liburan kali ini. Padahal timingnya tepat banget. Dibandingin tahun lalu, misalnya. Setelah bersenang-senang Angie lulus SMP dengan nilai yang tidak mengecewakan, aku dan Angie harus berburu SMA. Kita berdua bersibuk ria melihat pengumuman di beberapa sekolah, kapan membeli formulir, syarat apa saja yang harus disertakan, mengembalikan formulir, mengecek jurnal tiap hari, etc. Sebelum yakin diterima di satu sekolah, tentu aku dan Angie belum bisa berlega hati.

Selain itu aku juga harus memikirkan jumlah uang sumbangan pembangunan yang harus dibayar. Seragam sekolah yang harus dijahitkan. Membeli buku. Dll.

Timing tepat tinggal timing tepat. Aku tetap harus menelan ludah. LOL.

So, kira-kira apa yang akan kulakukan selama musim liburan ini untuk menyenangkan hati my Lovely Star?

Aku sebaiknya merelakannya menggunakan desktop seharian dan aku menggunakan notebook tatkala ingin mengetik sesuatu. Satu sisi positif jika aku menggunakan the cutie. Berhubung tidak ada game di situ, aku tidak akan tergoda untuk main game. Aku terpaksa harus langsung fokus akan mengetik apa. Sifat procrastinatorku yang buruk (yang konon merupakan salah satu negative point atau mungkin justru menjadi excuse yang paling tepat bagi seorang perfeksionis sepertiku) selalu mendapatkan bala bantuan dari beberapa game yang ada di desktop. LOL.

Sewa VCD film yang ingin Angie tonton. Untuk sementara ini aku belum tahu film apa aja yang ingin dia tonton.

Mengajaknya ngenet. Well, just like her mom, Angie suka ngenet juga, terutama ber-friendster ria, browsing lirik lagu atau lagu, membuka www.youtobe.com entah apa yang dia cari, dll. 

Aku berencana untuk mengajaknya berwisata kuliner di Semarang saja. Well, beberapa rumah makan yang dulu sering kukunjungi dengan ex siswa privatku mungkin akan kukunjungi lagi, kali ini bersama Angie. Kalau dulu aku ditraktir, kali ini aku yang nraktir Angie. LOL. 

Berbelanja ke supermarket yang terletak paling dekat dari rumah. Ah, ini sih tiap bulan juga kita lakukan berdua. LOL.

Ke toko buku. Aku merasa harus membelikan Angie barang satu dua buku yang dia inginkan sebagai hadiah dia naik kelas. (CATAT: aku tidak menjanjikan dia apa-apa sebelum ini. Misal, “Kalau Angie naik kelas trus masuk IPA, akan Mama belikan sesuatu.” Itu dulu, waktu Angie duduk di bangku SD, kadang-kadang aku melakukannya, untuk mendorongnya melakukan sesuatu. Sekarang, aku tidak lagi melakukannya. Angie sudah cukup besar. Aku ingin dia melakukan sesuatu karena dia tahu bahwa dia harus melakukannya demi kebaikannya sendiri, dan bukan karena iming-iming hadiah yang kuberikan.)
Look??? Semua butuh duit untuk melakukannya. Jadi ingat pepatah yang kutemui di game ‘tumblebugs’. “Money cannot buy you happiness. But money can make you unhappy in some fine places.” NAH LO!!!

PT56 19.10 260607

Angie and Popcorn

 

Beberapa hari yang lalu Angie komplain padaku, “Gara-gara Mama nih! Angie jadi suka ngecengin brondong kan?”

“Loh, apa-apaan nih?” tanyaku, ga ngerti.

“Tuh, mas Imoet yang kakak kelas pun ternyata hari ini baru berulang tahun yang ke 16. Berarti dia lebih muda dua bulan dibanding Angie!”

“Oh well, so what gitu loh Sayang kalo naksir cowo yang ternyata lebih muda?” komentarku.

“Malu lah Ma. Masak setiap kali Angie naksir cowo, selalu cowonya lebih muda dibanding Angie?” komplainnya lagi.

“Weleh, kan ga yang ada ngelarang lagi? Emang ada peraturan cewe harus naksir cowo yang lebih tuaan?” protesku.

“Emang ga ada sih. Tapi, Angie kan pengennya naksir cowo yang lebih tuaan?” jawabnya manja.

“Lah, salah sendiri napa pakai peraturan seperti itu pada diri sendiri?”

“Ini pasti gara-gara Mama dulu waktu SMP naksir adik kelas. Sekarang menurun ke Angie kan? Naksir cowo yang lebih muda? Padahal mas Imoet itu kan kakak kelas? Kok ya tetep aja Angie terperangkap dalam masalah naksir cowo yang lebih muda. Ga jadi pantes kuberi nick MAS IMOET dong orang dia lebih muda dua bulan?”

“Lho kok Mama jadi scapegoat sih? Itu kan bukan penyakit keturunan? And about his nick, oh well honey, you can change it now. Not MAS IMOET anymore, but DIK IMOET.” Godaku. Hahahaha ...

“Enak aja, emangnya Angie udah tua banget apa, manggil dia DIK?” komplain Angie.

“Loh kata Angie dia ga pantes dipanggil MAS karena ternyata dia lebih muda, gimana sih?” tanyaku, tetap dengan nada menggodanya.

Dan Angie cuma bisa merengut. Hahahaha ...

####

Entah berasal dari mana, tapi akhir-akhir ini ada satu kata gaul yang sering dipakai orang-orang untuk menyebut laki-laki yang berhubungan dengan perempuan yang lebih tua: BRONDONG. Apa hubungan laki-laki yang lebih muda ini dengan brondong alias pop corn? Karena sama-sama renyah? Wakakakaka ...

Dan Angie pun ikut-ikutan menggunakan istilah tersebut. Entah kecewa atau entah kenapa tatkala mengetahui bahwa cowo kakak kelas gebetannya ternyata lebih muda, Angie sempat woro-woro ke beberapa teman dekatnya. Dan komentar mereka nyaris sama, “Kamu tuh Nggie, seleramu memang brondong-brondong gitu deh.”

Wakakakakaka ...

“Padahal Angie tuh ya udah bela-belain naksir kakak kelas. Eh, tetap aja dia lebih muda dibanding Angie,” komplain Angie kepadaku.

Huehehehehe ...

####

Dalam mendidik Angie, aku selalu berusaha untuk melepaskan dirinya dari kotak-kotak bahwa dalam suatu hubungan sang laki-laki harus LEBIH dibanding si perempuan, misal: lebih tua, lebih tinggi baik fisik maupun pendidikannya, lebih kaya, dll. Aku berharap agar Angie tumbuh bebas lepas, tanpa terbelenggu nilai-nilai yang sering tidak masuk akal dan tidak memiliki esensi. Aku juga berharap dengan cara berpikir yang demikian akan membuat Angie tidak ikut terlibat gosip menggosip yang tidak sehat. (Aku ingat tatkala seorang rekan kerja, perempuan, menikah dengan laki-laki yang secara fisik lebih pendek dari dia, maupun rekan kerja, juga perempuan, menikah dengan laki-laki yang jauh lebih muda, banyak orang-orang yang berbisik-bisik di belakangku di pesta pernikahan mereka, mengatai tidak pantas, dll. Sucking people!!!)

Namun toh Angie tetap saja gusar tatkala dia merasa ‘berbeda’ dengan teman-temannya yang lain.

Aku sempat pernah me’ngompori’nya untuk ‘menembak’ cowo terlebih dahulu. LOL. Sebelum melakukannya, dia bertanya dulu kepadaku, “Mama, is it okay for a girl to express her feeling to a boy first? And not on the way around?”

“Why not, honey? Girls have right to do it too of course. Just express yourself openly. I encouraged her.

“But kalo ternyata dia menolak, tengsin berat dong Ma?”

“Yah, itu resiko dong Sayang. Apa dikira Angie tuh cowo-cowo ga tengsin kalo ‘tembakan’nya ditolak cewe yang dia taksir?”

“Tapi kan kalo cowo ditolak cewe itu udah lazim Ma? Masak mereka tengsin juga?” tanya Angie ga percaya.

“Semua orang merasakan hal yang sama dong menurut Mama,” jawabku.

“Tapi cowo kan bermuka lebih tebal dibanding cewe Ma,” protes Angie.

“Ah ya belum tentu dong Sayang!” jawabku lagi.

And in fact, Angie really did that. LOL. Aku sendiri ga yakin apakah akan mampu melakukannya. Hahahahaha ... Rasanya ga bakal mampu menahan malu berat seandainya ditolak. Wakakakakaka ... Good for Angie because it worked well on her. LOL.

Aku yang selalu merasa menjadi salah satu korban kultur patriarki ini menginginkan kultur yang jauh lebih ramah terhadap perempuan untuk Angie. Namun toh Angie tetap saja terkungkung dengan konsensus-konsensus yang entah kapan mulai diberlakukan. As her beloved Mom, tentu saja aku tidak akan berhenti untuk berusaha menghadirkan dunia yang lebih nyaman buatnya, untuk menerima keperempuanannya dengan terbuka, dan tetap merasa equal dengan laki-laki, tanpa perlu merasa terbatasi hal-hal yang tidak masuk akal. Well, at least tidak masuk akal buatku, sang Feminis.

PC 07.35 050607

Angie and Her Ex

Beberapa minggu lalu Angie pulang sekolah dengan wajah agak murung. Aku tidak bertanya mengapa karena seperti nyokapnya, Angie bukan tipe anak yang mau bercerita kalau dia tidak sedang mood bercerita. Namun kalau sedang mood, dia akan bercerita banyak, tanpa perlu ditanya. Dan biasanya dia memang bercerita banyak hal kepadaku.

Malam itu, ketika pulang dari mengajar, aku bercerita-cerita tentang suasana kelasku kepada Angie. Di dalam kelas, ada seorang sekolah Angie sejak SMP, inisialnya R, perempuan. R sangat talkative dan kupikir dia memanfaatkan keberadaanku sebagai nyokapnya Angie sehingga dia merasa nyaman-nyamansaja talkative di kelas, meskipun waktu itu siswa-siswa yang lain sedang berdiskusi sesuatu atau mempersiapkan debat antar kelompok, dll.

Ketika menyebut R inilah, tiba-tiba Angie bercerita tentang sesuatu hal yang telah membuat hatinya agak kesal. Pagi itu R bererita kepada Angie tentang apa yang dikatakan oleh seorang anak laki-laki, inisialnya RZ, yang pernah “menembak” Angie, untuk menjadi pacarnya. Sebelum “menembak” Angie, Angie tahu bahwa RZ berpacaran dengan R, namun dia mengaku telah putus dengan R ketika “menembak” Angie. 

R bercerita, “Kamu tahu Ngie, waktu RZ kutanya mengapa dia menembakmu waktu kelas 3 SMP itu, meskipun aku dan dia belum resmi putus. Dia bilang, ‘Aku cuma pengen ngerasain gimana sih rasanya pacaran tapi tidak sayang.’ Coba bayangkan, ngeselin ga tuh orang?”

Wajah Angie terlihat sedikit terluka tatkala becerita hal itu kepadaku. Dia bilang, “Enak aja RZ bilang begit ke R. Emangnya dikira Angie sayang sama dia???”

Aku mencoba menetralisir perasaan marah Angie dengan mengingatkannya atas apa yang dia katakan dulu padaku.

“Angie coba ingat-ingat lagi peristiwa sekitar satu setengah tahun yang lalu itu. Mama sendiri kaget waktu Angie bercerita bahwa Angie menerima ‘tembakan’ RZ, kirain Angie masih suka pada RM. Tapi lantas Angie bilang Angie menerima RZ karena kesel sama RM. Angie seperti ingin berkata kepada RM, ‘Nih, aku laku kan? Putus sama kamu, aku juga dapet yang lain, yang ga kalah cakep, pintar, dan tajir dari kamu!’

Namun entah mengapa atkala gosip beredar di sekolah bahwa Angie pacaran dengan RZ, Angie tiba-tiba merasa tidak nyaman kepada RM, dan Angie ngomong ke geng-nya Angie, ‘Well, aku menerima RZ hanya untuk pelarian aja kok.’ Menurut pendapat Mama waktu itu, di satu sisi, Angie ingin pamer pada RM punya cowo baru. Tapi di sisi lain, Angie juga ingin nunjukin ke dia kalau Angie ga bener-bener suka ke RZ karena Angie masih suka pada RM.”

Sampai di situ kata-kataku, Angie tersenyum-senyum geli. Kemudian aku melanjutkan, “Jangan dikira geng Angie tidak akan menyebarkan omongan Angie itu ke teman-teman lain. Angie tahu sendiri betapa gampang gosip menyebar di sekolah Angie saat itu. Nah, apa dikira kalau RZ dengar pernyataan itu, dia ga bakal sakit hati pada Angie?”

Senyum Angie tambah melebar, dan dia mulai merajuk, “Masak sih Ma dia denger? Kalaupun denger, masak sih Ma dia sakit hati?”

“Try putting yourself in his shoes honey. What do you think? Would you get hurt or not?”

Angie tidak menjawabnya. Dia hanya tersenyum-senyum geli. Ekspresi wajahnya yang semula masam dan agak terluka hilang. Dia menatapku dengan sorot mata yang kuterjemahkan, “Kok Mama inget sih Angie ngomong gitu?” LOL.

“Kalau menurut Mama kira-kira RZ masih sayang R ga sih waktu dia nembak Angie dan pacaran dengan Angie?” tanyanya merajuk.

“Well, I cannot figure it out.”

“Menurut Mama, RZ tuh pernah sayang Angie atau engga? Atau memang cuma main-main doang?”
“Well, kalau inget sms-sms manis yang dia kirim ke Angie sebelum ‘menembak’ Angie, kayaknya sih dia memang sayang sama Angie. Well, at least pernah. Itu sebab setelah dia tahu Angie putus dengan RM, dia langsung mengambil kesempatan itu untuk ‘menembak’ Angie meskipun dia belum putus dengan R. Harusnya Angie sadar kayaknya Angie duluan deh yang nyakitin dia dengan ngomong ke geng-nya Angie tentang masalah pelarian itu. Tapi kalau bandingin keberanian dia mengirim sms-sms manis dan mesra seperti itu ke Angie dengan RM yang pemalu, well, kata Mama dia punya bakat untuk menjadi buaya juga. LOL. ” kataku mencoba menganalisa.

“Anyway honey, that is not important anymore now. Yang ingin Mama tekankan di sini adalah Angie tidak perlu terluka dengan apa yang dikatakan oleh R yang katanya didengarnya dari RZ. Sekarang skor Angie dengan RZ satu sama. Dulu Angie melukai RZ dengan mengatakan dia hanyalah pelarian Angie saja. Dan mungkin seantero kelas 3 SMP N 1 angkatan 2005/2006 mendengarnya. Sekarang RZ membalasnya dengan mengatakan hal tersebut kepada R, dan belum tentu seantero kelas X SMA N3 mendengarnya. Ok? Keep your chin up. And let bygone be bygone.” 

Wajah Angie terlihat ceria kembali. Dan aku senang melihatnya. This is one role of a mother and a best friend that I always enjoy from my relationship with Angie, my Lovely Star.

LL 16.18 190607

IPA - IPS - BAHASA

Aku tidak tahu apa yang menggayuti pikiran Guru Wali Kelas Angie tatkala dia berbicara basa basi sejenak kepada orang tua murid yang akan mengambil raport, hasil belajar anak-anaknya selama satu semester. Kalimat pertama yang dia ucapkan adalah, “Maafkan saya Bapak-Bapak...” (mana dia ga nyebut Ibu-Ibu lagi. Grogi kali dia ya? LOL.)
Ada apakah gerangan sehingga belum apa-apa Guru Wali Kelas itu harus meminta maaf kepada orang tua murid?
Ternyata dia memberi alasan karena tidak semua siswa kelas X-9 itu naik kelas dan masuk jurusan IPA. Seperti pertemuan pihak sekolah dan orang tua siswa tanggal 21 Februari 2007 lalu, Guru Wali Kelas mengulang kembali apa yang dikatakan oleh Kepala Sekolah bahwasanya karena input yang kurang bagus tahun ini, dengan jumlah NEM yang sangat bervariasi, SMAN 3 Semarang terpaksa membuka jurusan BAHASA yang telah sekian lama tidak dibuka. Hal ini secara tidak langsung memberitahu kita bahwa jurusan BAHASA dianggap jurusan sampah.
Sebagai seorang alumni jurusan BAHASA SMA N 3 Semarang aku merasa tersinggung. Well, tidak melulu kepada cara berbicara Guru Wali Kelas itu, maupun apa yang dikemukakan oleh Kepala Sekolah bulan Februari lalu. Namun terutama kepada masyarakat kita yang tetap saja mengkotak-kotakkan pendidikan.
IPA è pintar
IPS è kurang pintar
BAHASA è bodoh
Padahal semua itu berhubungan dengan sistem motorik otak kanan dan otak kiri. Otak sebelah manakah yang bekerja dengan lebih giat yang akan menentukan apakah seseorang lebih berbakat untuk mempelajari segala sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan IPA, IPS, maupun BAHASA.
Aku datang untuk mengambil raport Angie dan merasa siap dengan segala hasil yang akan aku terima. Aku memang termasuk orang tua yang sangat demokratis, menyerahkan segala pilihan kepada anak. Angie sendiri yang ingin masuk ke IPA dengan alasan yang dia sendiri yang tahu pasti. Jikalau hasil test Angie (yang kebanyakan hafalan doang, maklum sistem pendidikan di Indonesia kan memang begitu?) dianggap tidak memadai masuk IPA, karena mungkin sistem motorik otak kanannya lebih aktif, aku yang akan menghiburnya untuk menerimanya dengan lapang dada. So, tidak perlu seorang Guru Wali Kelas meminta maaf kepada orang tua murid.
Tapi aku paham bahwa tidak semua orang tua murid memiliki jalan berpikir sehat sepertiku. LOL. So, aku anggap saja permintaan maaf Guru Wali Kelas itu ditujukan kepada orang tua murid yang belum sadar bahwa anaknya bukan miliknya seutuhnya, sehingga dia tidak terlalu berhak untuk mencampuri segala macam urusan sang anak. LOL. LOL.
Dan, memang, selama menunggu giliranku menghadap Guru Wali Kelas, aku mendapati (overheard, maklum tempat dudukku cukup dekat dari meja guru) beberapa orang tua murid yang masih saja ingin mencoba merayu agar anaknya bisa pindah ke jurusan IPA.
Menyedihkan.
PT56 11.30 220607

HARI TERIMA RAPORT

Aku tak menyangka bahwa Angie begitu nervous-nya menunggu hari ini, 22 Jun. 07. Pertama: dia begitu khawatir bahwa dia tidak akan naik kelas karena standard nilai yang cukup tinggi untuk masing-masing bidang studi di sekolahnya, SMA N 3 Semarang, yakni 75. Waktu penerimaan raport semester ganjil kemarin, guru wali kelasnya telah mengumumkan bahwa untuk naik kelas, nilai yang masih bisa ditolerir yaitu jika ada maksimal 3 mata pelajaran yang nilainya masih di bawah 75. Lebih dari itu, seorang siswa akan tinggal kelas.
Kedua: jika dia naik kelas, Angie sendiri kurang yakin akan kemampuannya apakah dia akan masuk ke jurusan IPA. Seperti yang telah kutulis di blog beberapa minggu lalu, Angie ingin masuk jurusan IPA karena dia ingin melanjutkan pendidikannya ke Fakultas Psikologi setelah lulus SMA nanti. Dan syarat utama untuk melanjutkan ke Fakultas Psikologi seorang calon mahasiswa harus lulus dari jurusan IPA.
Aku sendiri tentu tidak nervous, tidur tetap nyenyak, makan pun tetap terasa enak. LOL.
Namun semalam tatkala Angie bilang, “Ma ... Angie deg-degan nih besok terima raport. Angie sudah mimpi beberapa kali Angie tinggal kelas.” Aku jadi begitu kasihan melihatnya. Aku ingin ikut merasakan keresahan yang telah melandanya sejak usai Ujian Blog Akhir Semester beberapa minggu lalu. Namun toh aku tetap saja tidak merasa resah dan gelisah. J
Pagi tadi aku masih sempat kabur ke Paradise Club untuk berfitness sejenak, kurang lebih satu jam. Setelah itu aku baru mempersiapkan diri berangkat ke sekolah Angie. Angie sendiri masih molor tatkala aku pulang dari PC. (memang jagoan molor kok dia. LOL.)
Aku sampai di kelas Angie, X-9 yang terletak di lantai dua gedung sayap kanan dari gedung utama SMA N 3 kurang lebih pukul 09.10. Sudah ada lebih dari 20 orang tua murid yang duduk di dalam ruangan. Setelah basa-basi sejenak dari Guru Wali Kelas, mulailah satu per satu orang tua murid menghadap untuk menerima raport.
Aku yang merasa tidak datang paling awal, meskipun duduk di kursi paling depan, aku tidak serta merta langsung ikutan berebut untuk menghadap untuk segera menerima raport. Sekitar pukul 09.40 ada miscall di hape. Waktu kulihat, ternyata Angie. Oh well, mungkin dia sudah semakin nervous. Saat itu ternyata aku ikutan nervous. Apalagi dua orang yang duduk di belakangku saling berbisik, “Kok jadi ikut merasa tegang yah? Padahal anakku masuk jurusan apa aja ga masalah bagiku. Mengapa juga harus memaksakan diri masuk IPA kalau si anak tidak mampu?”
Berdasarkan perasaanku yang ikut tegang, aku jadi mulai ambil ancang-ancang untuk ikut segera berebut maju ke depan. LOL.
Tak lama kemudian, aku mendapatkan kesempatan itu.
Setelah berbasa-basi sejenak, Guru Wali Kelas menyerahkan raport Angie, aku menjabat tangannya, dan segera keluar ruangan.
Mengetahui bahwa Angie sudah begitu ingin tahu hasil belajarnya selama satu semester ini, aku langsung sms ke dia.
“You got what you wanted honey, PROMOTED TO THE ELEVENTH GRADE è IPA!!!
Congrat! Luv you.”
PT56 10.55 220607

Angie's Dream

Angie is having her promotion test for about a week, June 5-June 13, 2007. That’s why she asked me to take her to go online on Sunday, to have fun for a while before she has to focus her attention to her test. Unfortunately, the cyber café we regularly visit was close. We had to go to another café. Well, there was another one not really far from the first café, but I could not stand with the smoke because there was only one area: smoking section. 

After waiting for about 10 minutes coz when we arrived all computers were booked, Angie got one computer. Intentionally I didn’t book one for myself because I could not stand inside. While waiting for Angie, I was sitting on an ugly bench in the narrow terrace of the café, scribbling on the cutie, to continue my article: the review of CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER. However, I could not really concentrate on my writing. There were four reasons: firstly, there were two boys sitting next to me, who now and again secretly took a look at the monitor of the cutie, curious what I was scribbling (or amazed to see the cute notebook, as cute as the owner? Wakakakaka … ); secondly, the sound of the vehicles passing by in the street in front of the café easily distracted my attention; thirdly, the battery in the cutie was not full so I was worried if out of the blue the cutie was off automatically. (galak poll dia tuh!!! Segalak yang menghadiahkannya kepadaku. Wakakakaka …) and lastly, the complete data was in the desktop, at home. 

After scribbling for some time, and I realized I couldn’t really concentrate on it, I used the rest of the battery in the cutie to scribble in the diary. I had one book inside my cute backpack, but I was not in a good mood to read, with some people chatting around me and the loud horn of vehicles passing by. Therefore, eventually I decided to enter the café, breathed the air with smoke inside, and sat next to Angie. I didn’t mean to be fussy to find out what she was doing. She is supposed to know that I never forbid her to do anything she wants to do as long as she is responsible with it, and she knows that I will always be by her side, to support her, and be there when she needs me. 

In fact, Angie was busy opening her friendster profile, reading some comments she got, leaving some comments on her friends’ profiles, while at the same time she was looking for some cute pictures of SHREK 3, and watching the video of A WALK TO REMEMBER at www.youtobe.com (FYI, some days ago I borrowed the VCD, but due to the damage in the second CD, we could not watch the complete scenes.) 

In her friendster profile, Angie wrote in the “shout out”, to wish her luck to be promoted to the second (or eleventh) grade, and get accepted at IPA major. She also left similar comments in her friends’ profiles. 

Well, it reminded me of Angie’s telling me about her dream some time ago. She dreamt of being accepted at BAHASA (Language) major. When she told me that dream, I didn’t comment anything. To me, whatever major she will take later is up to her choice and ability. Well, some months ago when she asked my suggestion what major to take, I reminded her of her want—to continue her study in Psychology Department. It means that she had to take IPA major because most universities oblige candidate students to graduate from IPA major to major in Psychology. I myself majored in BAHASA when I was at senior high school because I already set my heart on continuing my study at English Department. 

Inside my heart I wanted Angie to major in IPA, but I didn’t want to force her. It would be very unwise of me. And I couldn’t read what Angie was feeling or thinking when she told me about her dream: she wanted to ask me to let her major in BAHASA, or she told me about her worry. 

 And when I was sitting next to her, accompanying her going online, and finding out her typing that ‘shout out’ and comments at her friendster profile, I could draw a conclusion: she was worried if her dream came true—to get accepted at BAHASA. She has set her heart on majoring in IPA, no matter what her reason is: whether to be able to continue to Psychology Department, or any other thing. She must know her responsibility: to prepare herself as best as she can to do the promotion test. 

I remember my dream—also Angie’s dream—a year ago. I wanted Angie to follow my path: after studying at the same junior high school as me—SMP N 1 Semarang, I wanted her to continue her study at the same senior high school—SMA N 3 Semarang. I was not really sure because Angie suffered from typhus when doing her examination. It means she couldn’t prepare herself maximally. Besides, she was just a mediocre student, not among the brightest ones due to her laziness. Her IQ which is 124 is not really bad, is it? And in fact, OUR DREAM CAME TRUE. Angie is studying at SMA N 3 Semarang now. 

My next dream is Angie continues her study at Gadjahmada University two years again. At the moment, this dream seems somewhat just a dream because I am not really sure if I can support her study there financially. But of course I still have a big hope for this. I remember seven years ago, I visited my ex workmate who was studying at GMU with Angie. When this workmate took me to Gedung Lengkung, the Head Office of Graduate Program, I talked to Angie, “I have been dreaming to come here as a student.” But I was not sure to be able to do that due to the financial constraint. And in fact, two years later, in 2002, I did come to Gedung Lengkung to be one of the Graduate students there. 

Sometimes, miracles do come to us, don’t they? To me, my Abang’s arrival in my life is also one example of miracle. I do hope that Angie will get what she wants. Amen. 

PT56 23.00 040607

Being Attached

us, in 2011

 Around an hour ago, Angie asked for my permission to go with her friend, Fitri. Fitri wanted to buy a pair of shoes in the (maybe LOL) oldest traditional market in Semarang, Johar market. I let her go while warning her to be careful because Johar market is familiarly known as full of thieves.

This is Sunday May 20, 2007. These past a few months, Sunday afternoon has become our time to go to the cyber cafe. Angie asked me to tell her whether I would really go to one cyber cafe and she would ask Fitri to take her there after she finishes doing what she wants to do in Johar market.

Of course I am accustomed to being alone at home. I am accustomed to going to the cyber cafe by myself too, without Angie joining me. However, I recognize that I start to feel not really uncomfortable when I want to go somewhere (that I don’t usually visit) without Angie with me. For example, when I want to go sightseeing in malls (that I very rarely do), I always ask her to accompany me. Recently, this plan often failed to be done because Angie said, “Instead of going sightseeing in Citraland Mall, how about if we go online?” So, we went to the cyber cafe instead.

Going back to Angie’s going with Fitri, it made me think of what people usually say (stereotyping huh? Probably!) about teenagers’ life when they are in their senior high school period. They will love to be with their buddies more than with their family members. During my time at senior high school, yes, I usually went somewhere with my schoolmates. My younger sisters were still very young at that time. I was not very close to my big brother. Besides, he belongs to homebody type while during my younger years I belonged to happy-go-lucky type.

I am wondering if it is high time for Angie to think that way too. She would love to go anywhere with her schoolmates rather than with me. She would choose to accompany her friends rather than to accompany me. I will be very unhappy. I realize that Angie is the only FRIEND I have at the moment. And this afternoon I started to realize how closely I am attached to her.

“It is not good to be attached to someone very much, Nana,” my Abang told me. Not even to him. Not even to my very own daughter either, perhaps.

I was born in this world alone, although my birth was very much expected by my two dearest parents. This means I will always have to be ready to be all alone.

PT56 13.28 200507

Angie dan Nana

Hari pertama libur sekolah karena kelas III SMA sedang sibuk berkutat dengan ujian sekolah kemarin, Angie dan teman-teman sekelasnya janjian nonton SPIDERMAN 3. Istilah yang mereka pakai adalah NOMAT = NONTON HEMAT. Kalau biasanya untuk menonton film di bioskop seseorang perlu merogoh koceknya uang sejumlah Rp. 20.000,00, untuk NOMAT, seseorang hanya perlu mengeluarkan uang Rp. 12.500,00. 

Seperti biasa, Angie janjian dengan sobat yang dikenalnya sejak di bangku SD untuk berangkat bersama. Angie akan nyamperin Nana. Di sana menurut rencana gebetan Nana akan menjemput mereka berdua dan berangkat bersama ke bioskop yang terletak di pusat kota Semarang, Simpang Lima.

Namun sepulang aku dari fitness center, sekitar pukul 09.00 Angie komplain kepadaku tiba-tiba Nana membatalkan janji itu dan tidak jadi ikut nonton dengan teman-teman sekelasnya. Karena Nana tidak menjelaskan apa alasan tiba-tiba dia membatalkan janji lewat sms, Angie meneleponnya. Angie menjadi lebih kecewa ketika Nana hanya mengatakan, “Aku ga ikut. Titik.” Dan membanting pesawat teleponnya. Angie berusaha menelpon lagi, tapi telepon tidak ada yang mengangkat. Angie menelpon nomor mobile Nana yang berjumlah tiga biji, semua non aktif. 

“Orang tua Nana ga ngijinin dia pergi nonton bareng teman-teman sekelas barangkali,” aku berusaha menentramkan Angie yang menjadi sewot. “Kan Angie bilang orang tuanya strict banget? Dia ga boleh pergi dengan teman laki-laki?”

“Lah, kan dia bakal pergi dengan Angie Ma? Meskipun memang di bioskop kita janjiannya nonton bareng teman-teman sekelas.”

“Mungkin menurut orang tuanya sama aja dengan dia pergi dengan teman laki-laki.” Jawabku.
“Kalau Angie pikir sih tentu hal ini berhubungan dengan gebetannya. Mungkin dia tidak jadi ikut?” tebak Angie.

“Kalau dia ga jadi ikut, kan ga papa? You will still have fun together with your classmates, right?” jawabku.
“Entahlah Ma. Angie masih kesel nih gara-gara Nana membanting telepon tadi.”
Kemudian aku menawari Angie untuk mengantarnya ke gedung bioskop tempat dia janjian dengan teman-teman sekelasnya. But Angie refused. Dia bilang seorang teman sekelas lain akan datang untuk menjemputnya.

-----

Hari Selasa 15 Mei 07 aku menginjakkan kaki di rumah pukul 09.15 sepulang dari kolam renang. I found Nana in the living room together with Angie doing their school assignment together. Her mother took her here. 

At 12.15 her mother picked her up. 

“See honey? Nana was not angry with you yesterday although she hang up the phone.” I said to Angie setelah Nana pulang. Dan dia tersenyum tersipu. 

“So, what made her cancel the plan with you?” I asked her.
“Her parents did not let her go.” Jawab Angie. 

“I think her parents had better come back to their ancestors’ native country, Arab. Di sana sampai saat ini masih banyak perempuan yang dipenjara di balik tembok rumah mereka yang megah.” Komentarku.
Dan Angie hanya meringis.

-----

Aku ingat nasibku sebagai anak perempuan pertama dari orang tuaku. Nana, sobat Angie semenjak SD itu anak kedua, namun anak perempuan pertama, sama denganku. Kebetulan kita berdua memiliki kakak laki-laki yang lebih homebody type ketimbang outgoing type. Kakak laki-laki Nana lebih pasif dalam hal mengikuti kegiatan ekstra kurikuler di sekolah, sama dengan kakakku. 

Pingitan yang hampir sama dulu juga sering kualami. Aku lebih bebas mengikuti kegiatan ekstra kurikuler dibanding Nana. Di bangku SMP dengan memohon-mohon yang amat sangat, aku diperbolehkan ikut karate. Kadang latihan karate yang diadakan berbarengan dengan ranting/cabang lain sekotamadya Semarang boleh kuikuti. Tapi kalau latihan itu di luar kota, atau mungkin menginap satu malam di sekolah, atau di tempat lain, jangan bermimpi aku akan diperbolehkan ikut.

Di bangku SMA, karena ngikut seorang teman sekelas yang aktif di pramuka, aku diperbolehkan ikut kegiatan itu. Tapi untuk camping, jelas tidak boleh aku ikut. Kekangan tidak boleh ini tidak boleh itu yang membuatku mendaftar UGM diam-diam waktu ada tawaran Penelusuran Minat dan Kemampuan (PMDK) untuk siswa kelas III SMA. Aku ingin lepas dari kontrol orang tua untuk menentukan apa yang ingin kulakukan.

Walau aku tidak menyukai konfrontasi terbuka, aku lebih rebellious dibandingkan Nana, sobat Angie itu. Berangkat dari pengalamanku sebagai remaja yang tidak boleh ini tidak boleh itu—yang berarti aku selalu dianggap masih terlalu muda/kecil untuk menentukan apa yang ingin kulakukan—aku memperlakukan Angie sebaliknya. Kita memiliki komunikasi yang terbuka dibandingkan dengan aku dan kedua orang tuaku. 

“I wish my mom were as liberal as your mom,” sering Nana berkata seperti ini kepada Angie.
“I wish my mom had as much money as your mom,” mungkin Angie berkata begitu kepada Nana? LOL. LOL. 

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

PT56 11.38 160507

My shared Room with Angie

Talking about a room of one’s own as a physical place, in fact I don’t have one. I have to share a bedroom with my Lovely Star, my dearest daughter Angie. Since I moved back to this dwelling place more than a year ago after I graduated from American Studies Graduate Program, we have occupied this room together. Of course right now I don’t have as much privacy as when I lived in Yogya to pursue my study.

 

This bedroom, 3 x 4 m is also our study. Luckily we have our own respective schedule to be private. In the morning when Angie goes to school, the room is fully mine. I can do anything I want without being distracted by her. In the afternoon/evening when I am at work, this time is Angie’s turn to fully occupy the room with the desktop. After I go home from work, usually after 9pm, it depends on Angie’s schedule. When she has lots of homework or assignments from school that sometimes need to be carried out using the desktop, I will just read newspaper in the living room, or sometimes scribble in my cutie notebook in the bedroom also when I need to pour out things crowding my mind. After Angie finishes, she will go to bed and I can use the desktop. Sometimes Angie lets me work till late at night, sometimes she complains the lamp’s light that disturbs her. She loves to sleep in the dark. When she is spoilt like that, and begs me to turn off the desktop and the lamp and I go to bed with her, I sometimes give in. And both of us will enjoy talking to each other before we fall asleep. However, some other time, when I really need to write something, I have to ignore Angie’s beg to go to bed at the same time with her.

 

A problem will come when Angie has a long holiday from her school. In the morning, the time for me to enjoy my privacy in our bedroom, I have to lose some privacy. As my only daughter of course she does not have anybody else to have a chat with but me at home. I always have to lend my ears to her for that. I love it. However, I also will feel that my privacy is disturbed.

 

Is it high time for me to provide another room so that we have our own respective bedroom and study?

 

PT56 14.05 150507

not my bedroom, haha

 

Angie libur

Angie is having one week holiday due to the examination her seniors have to face from May 14-19 May 2007. She is happy so that she does no need to wake up early in the morning to prepare herself to go to school. LOL.
I am happy so that I do not need to wash clothes everyday. If Angie goes to school, I need to wash clothes almost everyday to wash her school uniform so that she can wear clean uniform that smells good everyday. FYI, she only has two pairs of white and blue uniform she has to wear from Monday till Thursday and also on Saturday. On Friday she wears her scout uniform.
I am also happy so that I can go to Paradise Club earlier everyday. It means that I will have longer time to enjoy being alone with books I want to read and the cutie where I can scribble anything. At the same time, I can enjoy a cup of cappuccino or Nescafe.
However …
There is possibility that she will distract my concentration when I want to type in the desktop at home after going back from PC because Angie is at home. She always needs to talk to me. I love it of course because we often have fun when confiding in each other. But yeah … when I have an idea that needs to be written as soon as the idea comes to me, listening to Angie can make the idea go away again peacefully. Not to mention when Angie also needs to use the desktop to do what she wants.
Ah … I almost forget. I have the cutie to scribble when Angie is busy doing something with the desktop. LOL.
You know, sometimes I am forgetful. It is very humane, isn’t it? Or am I just giving an excuse? LOL.
PT56 13.15 130507

My Darling Angie

 “You have only one daughter? I bet she must be a spoilt girl.” A chat friend said to me around three years ago.

“I assume I don’t spoil her although she is my only daughter.” I responded.

As far as I remember, I have never spoilt Angie since she was a little. What I have done to her is just common things other mothers do toward their children: preparing her meals, making some drinks she wants, washing her clothes and iron them, etc. 

I have taken her to school and pick her up from school since she went to kindergarten. At that time, her kindergarten was located quite close from home, around 500meters. Different from other kids who cried when their mothers/nannies/baby sitters left them at school during the first days, Angie didn’t cry. She was confident enough. Why I lingered at school during her first days at school, well, I think it is perhaps similar to other parents who are excited when their children enter the following stage in their lives. I was excited to see Angie start going to school. I was amazed to see my only daughter grow up so that I wanted to see her routines at school. But after the excitement was over, of course I didn’t linger at her kindergarten anymore.

Graduating from kindergarten, during her school holiday, Angie took an English course. I wanted her exposed to English since she was very young. Since the first day, I only took her to the English course, and then I was off to my office, without lingering there.

Her elementary school was located quite far from home, perhaps around 3 kilometers. I found another excitement too in her first days at elementary school so I remember twice or three times I lingered for some minutes in front of the school, only to see her joining the raising flag ceremony and doing some sports at school, wearing her elementary school uniform. 

I agree with what people say that excitement we have from being a parent is really special, different from other excitements we get from other experiences in our lives. Seeing someone having flesh and blood coming from us grow up really cannot be substituted by any other things. This is absolutely my opinion. 

The same excitement I felt when Angie went to the junior high and senior high school. Seeing her wearing her different uniform (from elementary school to junior high and then senior high school) is really exciting for me. The different uniform she wears reminds me how time flies, she grows up. And I do too. LOL.

Btw, when she was in elementary school fifth grade, I decided to pursue my study out of town. At first, I planned to take her with me to Yogya, but she refused. She enjoyed her friendship with her classmates and some neighbors, one thing that she was worried she wouldn’t find in Yogya. During the first semesters, I went home only for one or two nights after staying for two or three weeks in Yogya. She did not complain. 

FYI, although I claim myself as a feminist, thinking that a woman can do anything, can pursue anything without being burdened by any other thing (such as responsibility as a mother who has to take care of the children most of the time, according to the conventional patriarchal views), I could not deny that deep inside my heart I sometimes felt a bit guilty to leave Angie for two or three weeks without taking care of her by myself. Therefore, when I went back to Semarang, I would do my best to do anything to please her, to tie the emotional bonds between us. One thing that I always loved doing was to prepare her meals, spoon feed her while we ate together from one plate. I must say that it was one of my favorite time. 

There was one main reason why I loved spoon-feeding her when she was a little. Angie didn’t like eating vegetables. To make her eat vegetables, I had to spoon-feed her, to talk to her while doing it so that she wasn’t really aware that I put the vegetables into her mouth. Tricky mom, eh? LOL. 

Meanwhile, my mom doesn’t like to see me spoon-feeding Angie. “Angie is too big to be spoon-fed. Let her eat by herself. She cannot be independent for that.”

I cannot just leave this habit, though. As I have written above, I always love the feeling I have when doing it, to tie the emotional bonds between Angie and me. Therefore, we often do it secretly so that my mom doesn’t see us doing it. LOL. Especially in the morning, I always spoon-feed her in our bedroom while she prepares her books before going to school. Or when she has assessments from school, I spoon-feed her while she is studying. 

I have finished my Graduate Program. I no longer need to leave Angie for quite a long time. But I still cannot forget the somewhat guilty feeling to leave her to pursue my study out of town. That’s why although she is sixteen years old now, I still prepare her meals, make some drinks she wants, such as a cup of coffee, tea, cappuccino, etc. I really love and enjoy doing it. But of course when I come home from work feeling tired, I will not do it. I even ask her to help me do this and that. 

There is still another somewhat guilty feeling I keep in my heart: my decision to leave Angie’s dad because I feel that I deserve to choose what kind of life I want to have. This decision of course influences Angie’s life too. She has to live with single parent, one thing that is not really coveted in patriarchal culture that still adores a happy nuclear family consisting of mother and father plus the children. Frankly speaking I am still haunted by the consensus that a mother is supposed to sacrifice her happiness for the children. I am not like that. I choose what kind of life I want to lead, I don’t want to sacrifice my happiness, and I want Angie to understand my choice. As a very understanding daughter, Angie doesn’t complain about it. She lets me choose. And me? I keep preparing her meals and drinks everyday. 

PT56 23.20 080507

Angie and Cinderella Complex

Several days ago when going back from school, Angie my only daughter told me about her close friend—her initial is N—that out of the blue had already been ‘matched’ with a boy she barely knows. Angie said that they would get married as soon as N graduated from senior high school. I was surprised and sorry to hear that although Angie had told me much before this that her best friend who happens to have Arabian blood in her body could not choose any boy to marry but her parents’ choice.
As a rebel, I thought that it was just a silly things to do in this twenty first century. A girl does not have any freedom to choose with whom she wants to marry in this twenty first century? As a rebel, I expected to hear that one day Angie would tell me that her close friend would rebel that (to me) silly ‘rule’. As a daughter, she cannot marry a boy who does not have Arabian blood. Her brother, however, can marry a girl that does not have Arabian blood.
“It is a disgrace for the family if the daughter marries a man who does not have Arabian blood. As a result, if she rebels, perhaps she will be exposed to a risk of being kicked out of the family.” This was what my superior at my workplace said some time ago. She has Arabian blood, and she married a man who does not have that blood.
Some months ago, the cousin of Angie’s close friend, the same age as Angie, (of course she has Arabian blood too in her body) was proposed by someone, and they probably will get married as soon as she graduates from senior high school. At that time, N said to her mother, “If someone proposes me later, I don’t want to get married as soon as I graduate from school. Give me time to continue my study to college first. I want to be a dentist, just like you. I don’t want to be a full and only housewife.” Unfortunately, her mother said it was all up to the husband-to-be, and his family.
And now someone has proposed her. Her parents and grandmother a kind of support her to get close to the man. Apparently N’s complaint—that she wants to go to college first before getting married—was not heard by the parents.
I believe that N’s mother who luckily work as a dentist still keeps the old-fashioned way of thinking that the best profession of a woman is being a housewife; that a woman does not really have her own life because she has to obey her parents first, and then her husband plus his family.
Meanwhile after telling me about that ‘incident’, Angie asked me, “Mama, is it possible that someone does not have a match in his/her life?”
She has a crush on a boy for about two years (since she was in the third grade of junior high and now she is in the first grade of senior high and will get a promotion test next month.) She and the boy were quite close around two years ago for some months. But then they broke up. (Un)luckily they go to the same school again. They are even in the same class now. It seems to me that Angie is worried if she will not get attracted to any other boy in her life.  That’s why I told her, “Don’t worry, honey, there are abundant other cute and smart boys lining up waiting for you out there. Just be patient. Ok?”
Frankly I was kind disappointed to hear Angie saying something like her world would end if she didn’t get any boyfriend. Perhaps she thought that it would be better for her to exchange position with N? Not having freedom to choose whom she will marry is not a big deal as long as she has someone as her ‘match’.
Secretly, my Lovely Star—my loving nick for Angie, has been suffering from Cinderella Complex. She has been dreaming of a cute, charming and rich Prince will come to her, to propose her, to bring her to the so-called everlasting happy gate—marriage. One big example that a woman can feel happier and beter when living alone rather than with a life partner that ameks her lose her real identity and potential does not really work to awaken her from that dream. The big example can be seen in her own mother’s life.
The soap operas Angie has watched on television, the romance teen-lit novels she has read, they successfully have made hertrapped in that old dream.
I also said to her, “Well, in Alquran it states that God created all creatures in pairs. It seems that everybody will get a partner in his/her life. This thinking resulted in two attitudes. One positive attitude: someone will always be optimistic that he/she will find his/her soul mate, because there is someone out there created by God for him/her. the negative attitude: when someone fails to get one now and again, he/she will lose spirit to live and consider God unfair because why other people get their life partner if she/he does not get one. Perhaps it will make him/her lose his/her confidence and then mourn during the rest of his/her life. It seems like having a life partner is the only important thing in this life.”
“Stop thinking about it all the time, honey. Just focus on your study and your other talent that you can do maximally. Your teenage life will be as beautiful, either you have a boyfriend or not. Enjoy your life by doing any other useful things with me, and also with your dear friends. Besides, you still have a very long life to go.”
PC 08.05 040507

My Angie

waktu dolan ke Bromo, 18 Agustus 2023

“Pada waktu Angie berusia berapakah kamu merasakan paling sulit membesarkannya?”

 

Pertanyaan ini pernah diucapkan oleh seorang rekan kerja yang memberi nick anaknya Angie, sama dengan my Lovely Star, sekitar awal Februari 2007 kemarin. Aku pun telah menuliskannya dan menge-post-kannya di blog. Sekitar tiga minggu yang lalu, tatkala seorang teman milis—mbak Icha Koraag—datang ke Semarang dan kita sempat ngobrol-ngobrol, dia bertanya hal yang sama kepadaku. Aku tertegun mendengarnya, ternyata tidak hanya satu orang yang berpikiran begitu. 😅 How did I answer that question? Sama persis dengan apa yang kutulis di blog di bulan Februari kemarin.

 

Sekitar dua minggu yang lalu, seorang teman blog dari India titip salam buat Angie, sambil berkata, “Take care of her wisely. She is in a crucial age to be a rebel, to rebel her parents’ or teachers’ rules.” Ketika aku menyampaikan hal ini kepada Angie, Angie nampak sedikit tertegun, “Mengapa begitu?” tanyanya. “Well ... you know honey. You always complain about your teachers, how nosy they are, also how old-fashioned they are, ga mau mengikuti perkembangan anak muda zaman sekarang, and so on, and so forth.” Angie hanya manggut-manggut.

 

Sementara itu ...

 

Angie yang juga belajar bahasa Inggris di English Course tempatku bekerja, aku tengarai kadang-kadang mulai malas berangkat. Aku tahu dia memang banyak tugas dari sekolah, pe-er, belum lagi tuntutan dari sekolah yang lumayan tinggi, nilai yang harus minimal 75 untuk setiap mata pelajaran.

 

Well, tatkala aku kembali ke bangku kuliah beberapa tahun yang lalu, aku ingin memberi dia contoh bahwa belajar adalah satu proses yang selalu kita alami dalam hidup ini, umur berapapun. Aku ingin dia selalu mendapatkan pengaruh positif dariku yang selalu eager to learn (do you agree with me, anyway, that it is a positive influence? 😁) And you know what she commented some years ago when seeing me busy reading books, preparing subjects to teach, including when I was busy doing the assignments from my study? “Angie ga mau bekerja jadi guru nanti. Capek belajar melulu. Apa Mama ga bosen?” GUBRAKKK!!! Kok hasilnya malah jadi begitu? LOL.

 

Semula aku tidak begitu memperhatikan tatkala Angie mulai merayuku agar membolehkannya tidak berangkat kursus. Tapi mulai term lalu, Januari-Maret, dia skip classes sampai lima kali. (Oh well, kebetulan memang di English Course tempatku bekerja dan tempat Angie belajar memiliki policy bahwa a student can be absent for five times in one term, and not more than that.)

 

Term ini—April-Juni—Angie sudah membolos tiga kali. Yang pertama alasannya, “Sekolah libur Ma, harusnya tuh kursus juga libur. Males kan?” Ups ... I didn’t like it of course. But berhubung memang dia berhak untuk tidak masuk lima kali dalam satu term, apa boleh buat? I let her stay at home. Yang kedua, dia complain alasan klisenya, banyak tugas dari sekolah yang harus dikerjakan. I was disappointed tatkala di tempat kursus, I saw her two good friends, Nana dan Mita, tidak membolos hanya karena banyak tugas dari sekolah. Kalau Nana dan Mita berangkat, mengapa Angie tidak? She couldn’t manage her time well, I assume? Selain ternyata kedua temannya itu bakal dimarahi orang tuanya kalau membolos dari kursus. (Mana pernah aku memarahi Angie?) Hari itu Angie’s class teacher sempet berpesan kepadaku agar Angie mempersiapkan diri untuk presentasi di hari berikut Angie masuk. When I told Angie about that, dia yang sedang tidur-tiduran di tempat tidur, kecapekan atau ngantuk setelah mengerjakan tugas sekolah (seperti nyokapnya, kalau dia sedang mengerjakan tugas sekolah, buku-bukunya bertebaran di atas kasur. LOL), langsung complained, “I will not come!”

 

Dengan sangat terpaksa aku menggunakan otoritasku sebagai orang tua (padahal aku tidak suka memilih cara ini), “You must come honey. Don’t embarrass me and yourself in front of your class teacher.” (Look!!! I showed my ego here. 😢😖)

 

Angie langsung heran mendengarku berbicara dengan nada authoritative begitu.

 

“I will help you prepare the presentation, if that makes you lazy to go to your English course.” I went on saying.

 

Angie was quiet for a while. Kemudian merengek meminta disiapkan something to eat and a glass of hot tea. (It was around 9pm, I went back from the office.)

 

Entah mengapa aku mulai mencurigai ada sesuatu yang Angie sembunyikan dariku. What has made her a bit lazy to attend her English class recently? Atau mungkin aku yang terlalu mengada-ada? Aku bakal sedih sekali kalau sampai Angie harus merasa that she needs to hide something from me, meskipun of course as a free person, she has full right to do that.

 

Satu hari setelah itu, sepulang sekolah she told me, “Mama, hari Rabu ini Angie ga bisa berangkat kursus. Hari Kamis ulangan Math sama KN. Gila apa kalau ga belajar sejak sore? Tolong dong bilangin Ms. Yuli.”

 

Aku memang mencurigainya memanfaatkan my position as a teacher to ask my colleague yang kebetulan menjadi class teacher Angie to understand her to skip classes. Meskipun of course I can do that, aku tidak menyukai hal yang bisa menjurus tindakan nepotisme ini.

 

Akhirnya jadilah dia sudah membolos tiga kali dari her English class this term. Kebetulan juga pada hari yang sama, all of my students who study at the same high school with Angie were absent. They must have prepared to face their assessment at school the following day.

 

Dan aku masih tetap curiga apakah Angie starts to hide something from me? Of course it is okay for her to do that. But I think I deserve to feel unhappy with that.

 

PT56 10.15 030507

 

di Omah Petroek, Jakal km 21. saat ikut Sekolah Basis 3, 27 Agustus 2023

 

Desember 2008, setelah berenang di kolam renang Grage, Cirebon