Since Angie went to kindergarten in 1994, I have had morning ritual:taking her to school. In front of her school, after getting down of the motorcycle, Angie kisses my hand (the common ritual done by Muslim people, the children kiss the parents’ hand to show respect.) After that, I kiss Angie’s both cheeks, forehead, and nose. This is to show her that I love her. And then, Angie kisses my both cheeks too before entering the gate of the school building.
Once, coz Angie was in a hurry, she just kissed my hand, didn’t give me a chance to kiss her or she kissed me, and directly she ran away to enter the gate. I felt something robbed from my heart. And the whole day that day, I always thought of that moment, Angie and I didn’t kiss each other before she ‘left’ me to school. I felt uncomfortable.
The following day, Angie said, “Mom, you don’t need to kiss me yah?” Instantly I knew that she felt shy to her school mates that probably would consider her just as a spoilt baby. And I pleaded to her, “Oh you know honey, I cannot work all day without kissing you or your kissing me before you enter your school.” And Angie submitted herself. LOL. So, we still went on with our ‘ritual’. LOL.
Yesterday and the day before, Angie showed the similar sign, not let me kiss her cheeks, forehead, and then nose, moreover to kiss me back.
Oh well, she is bigger now coz she is already in senior high school. Perhaps she is shier if we still do our ritual in front of her school building. And this morning, before we left the house, she kissed my hand, and said, “Mom, let’s do ‘it’ now so that we no longer need to do that in front of the school building.” I laughed loudly but I didn’t object. And when she got down of the motorcycle in front of the gate of the school, she just looked at me and smiled nicely, and said, “Bye Mom!” LOL. And I kept looking at her walking entering the gate to the schoolyard, and I left after she disappeared among many other students.
Perhaps coz I claim myself as a romantic person so that I think that I have to (and need to) show openly my love for the ones I love and care much; moreover to my only kid.
I remember some months ago, one student of mine told me that her parents taught her not to show love to the children openly coz it will make the children spoilt. The children will not grow up as independent persons.
I know Angie sometimes becomes very spoilt when I am at home; really wants me to show my attention to her all the time. But she can be an independent teenager too when I am away.
What is wrong to show our love openly to our own children?
PT56 12.29 220706
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