Being Attached

us, in 2011

 Around an hour ago, Angie asked for my permission to go with her friend, Fitri. Fitri wanted to buy a pair of shoes in the (maybe LOL) oldest traditional market in Semarang, Johar market. I let her go while warning her to be careful because Johar market is familiarly known as full of thieves.

This is Sunday May 20, 2007. These past a few months, Sunday afternoon has become our time to go to the cyber cafe. Angie asked me to tell her whether I would really go to one cyber cafe and she would ask Fitri to take her there after she finishes doing what she wants to do in Johar market.

Of course I am accustomed to being alone at home. I am accustomed to going to the cyber cafe by myself too, without Angie joining me. However, I recognize that I start to feel not really uncomfortable when I want to go somewhere (that I don’t usually visit) without Angie with me. For example, when I want to go sightseeing in malls (that I very rarely do), I always ask her to accompany me. Recently, this plan often failed to be done because Angie said, “Instead of going sightseeing in Citraland Mall, how about if we go online?” So, we went to the cyber cafe instead.

Going back to Angie’s going with Fitri, it made me think of what people usually say (stereotyping huh? Probably!) about teenagers’ life when they are in their senior high school period. They will love to be with their buddies more than with their family members. During my time at senior high school, yes, I usually went somewhere with my schoolmates. My younger sisters were still very young at that time. I was not very close to my big brother. Besides, he belongs to homebody type while during my younger years I belonged to happy-go-lucky type.

I am wondering if it is high time for Angie to think that way too. She would love to go anywhere with her schoolmates rather than with me. She would choose to accompany her friends rather than to accompany me. I will be very unhappy. I realize that Angie is the only FRIEND I have at the moment. And this afternoon I started to realize how closely I am attached to her.

“It is not good to be attached to someone very much, Nana,” my Abang told me. Not even to him. Not even to my very own daughter either, perhaps.

I was born in this world alone, although my birth was very much expected by my two dearest parents. This means I will always have to be ready to be all alone.

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